The internet is a noisy place.

The prevailing notion of ‘How to Use Social Media’ seems to be “the louder the better.”

For example: Position yourself as an expert! Advertise your Exclusive Private Coaching Program of Awesome! Learn these sneaky tricks to ensnare more subscribers! Write more how-to guides and top-10 lists! Find a Niche and a Message and promote, promote, promote! Louder, louder, LOUDER!

Oy. It’s like we’re becoming human infomercials.

Okay, truthfully? The problem isn’t the techniques. The problem is, when everyone’s shouting, it’s all just noise.

There’s nothing wrong with some healthy self-promotion, if that’s your cup of tea. There’s nothing wrong with writing how-tos or running an exclusive coaching program or designing your website to encourage more signups.

And there’s certainly nothing wrong with positioning yourself as an expert, as long as you happen to be, you know, an expert.

But where’s the substance?

I understand why this happens. I know how seductive is the dream of making it big online, how easy it is to confuse legitimate marketing or networking techniques with silver bullets of success.

Don’t fall for it. Please. Sure, you might get a few subscribers, and you might even make some money. But unless there’s enough substance, enough Real You behind the drive to SELL, SELL, SELL, you won’t like what it turns you into. Trust me.

Seth Godin has a post up today on Selling vs. inviting. He writes:

Selling is a profession. It’s hard work. Ultimately, it’s rewarding, because the thing you’re selling delivers real value to the purchaser, and your job is to counsel them so they can get the benefit.

Ask yourself: in my heart of hearts, do I believe that what I’m pushing delivers real value? Or am I doing this because ‘they’ told me this is the way to get rich and popular?

There’s only one right answer.

Dear fellow bloggers, can we stop overdramatizing our content? Please?

Can we stop turning “Try this, it might work for you” into “If you’re not doing this, you’re making one of the 3 Biggest Mistakes Newbie Bloggers Make”?

Yes, I know, flashier headlines get more clicks, and we’d gladly sell our souls for more clicks.

But seriously. We’re overdoing it, and it’s making us sound ridiculous and sleazy.

And yes, a lot of the A-list bloggers say they use these techniques. But what they also say (and what we’re ignoring) is how they started out blogging as a way to keep themselves accountable, to be honest, to communicate with a few close friends and family members. Not to sell products and get Big On The Internet.

That’s important. Why you’re doing something and where you start from are important.

Peter Shallard wrote a great piece on why self-help is like porn. They’re addictive, they both make you feel good for a while, but they’re both cheap substitutes for the real thing.

Let’s turn this around. If reading self-help is like watching porn, then if we’re not careful, selling self-help is like making porn. It’s easy, it’s profitable, but it makes you feel sleazy inside, because you’re selling a cheap substitute for the real thing. (Easy there, it’s just a metaphor.)

So get your motivations right. They’re important, even if you’re the only one that knows what they are.

Authenticity

There’s a lot of lip service paid to authenticity. “Position yourself as an expert, but be authentic.”

No. Stop right there. Authentic doesn’t mean ‘act like an expert but tell a story about that time you were almost as clueless as your readers.’ It doesn’t mean ‘talk about yourself in inflated terms, but write a confessional post once in a while.’

It means if you’re not an expert, if you’re not a guru, if you’re not the greatest thing since sliced bread, stop acting like it and be yourself instead.

You can’t pretend and still be authentic. It’s one or the other.

Admit that you’re not a guru. Admit that, sometimes, you have no clue what you’re doing. Admit that, sometimes, you’re not as nice of a person as you’d like to be. Remove the veil. Stop worrying about outdoing the next guy. People will still talk to you.

And you know what? If blogging as yourself means you can’t sell stuff, then perhaps you shouldn’t be selling it in the first place.

Let’s get a few things straight.

Not everyone can be an expert. Writing a lot of blog posts on something does not make you an expert. Being passionate about something does not, by itself, make you an expert. Misdirected passion is just enthusiastic chaos.

By the same token, not everyone with an opinion is a coach or a consultant. We all like to think that we can fix people. But if you’re going to sell coaching, you better have more to offer than just well-intentioned suggestions.

The good news: no matter how saturated the market for coaches and consultants and gurus becomes, there will still be plenty of room for people.

So by all means, publish your opinions. But publish them as yourself, not as the exaggerated version of you.

If you want to be an expert, that’s fine. Work at it. Learn the ropes. Practice. Do before you preach. But don’t try to replace hard work with exaggerated self-promotion. Don’t ‘position’ yourself as an expert. Become an expert first and let the positioning work itself out.

The marketplace or the quiet room?

I dunno. Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, but the notion of the blogosphere as a giant marketplace filled with shouting, overeager vendors doesn’t appeal to me.

Give me instead a quiet room with comfortable chairs and uninflated egos, where we can talk and actually hear each other.

Yeah, that sounds good.